Be warned, some of this content may contain adult language and a few themes that some viewers may find offensive (but secretly really funny too).
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I’ll be honest I’m just entertaining myself at this point…
I’m back with a fan favourite, Doctor Phew.
And by fan favourite I mean I’m leaching off another well known TV show with a similar name.
Honourable, I know.
We’ll go on a journey through time and space to the distant shores of Liverpool, home of the Beatles, cheap spice and coincidentally… killer robots.
You may have heard of ransomware attacks, but you’ll never have seen them like this before.
As always, stay safe and stay secure.
In a world of computers, iPhones, vibrators, and other titillating electric equipment, we’re close to the end.
Let’s face it, the machines are coming, and, as they come, I’m going to be the first to kneel before them.
If only there was salvation. Someone to save us.
Wait. Who’s that? A robot who looks like me, with the same pecs as me, the same package as me, the same penchant for a trip to the strip club as me, and the same cyber security knowledge as me?
Well, back to bed kids. We’re saved.
There’s nothing I hate more than educating you lot on cyber security.
Now, I know what you’re thinking…
Why am I slagging off the one thing that keeps the 100% real silk scarves around my neck and the sweet Barbados sun burning my back?
Well, slapping my face all over your screens as a professional cyber educator, entertainer and connoisseur has its downsides.
To name a few: I don’t have an ounce of dignity left and the outfits brutally chafe my nether regions.
So INSTEAD, this week, I thought I’d give you something different.
Something special. Something spectacular.
Introducing… The SIEMspons (do do doo do do do doo do doo do do doo do do do – you get the point).
Now if this doesn’t improve your cyber smarts, then there really isn’t much hope for you.
Contact us and see how CyberOff can boost your team’s cyber savvy.Contact us for FREE
Let me tell you something you already know.
The cyber world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.
So to really stay safe out there, you need to be a fighter. A warrior. A ‘no, I won’t click on this link that says I have four million quid waiting for me in an offshore account in the Cayman Islands’ kinda bruiser.
Yeah, it’s tough out there kid.
So to make it, you need to be a real cyber security champion.
Meet ROCKY CYBOA.
A man who’s about to be put through his paces, training in the art of cyber. And let me tell you, it ain’t easy.
Will he make it as a champion? Or is he destined to forever be a bum?
What would you do if you could travel back in cyber time?
Maybe wipe your laptop before your wife found that thing you downloaded which you didn’t mean to click on but your finger just slipped?
Yeah, that’d probably save your marriage.
Well, since I’m one of the cyber security good guys, I’d probably go back and restore all the data that’s been lost in breaches.
So the invention of a cyber security time machine could be pretty handy when it comes to keeping you lot protected, right?
Today, I’ll be teaching you how to recover from a data breach. All you need is a little Jizzonium and the word P.E.N –
– oh, just watch the video.
If you want to find out how then watch this video.
Actually, I’ll just tell you.
I’ve done it again.
Here I am, gracing your screens with another Ian Murphy take on a much-loved classic. I mean, I really am heading for an OSCAR at this point.
The DATATRIX will show you exactly how to keep your data private from those pesky hackers who hack stuff.
Threats are everywhere. Whatever you are browsing the internet for (no judgement here), viruses are inevitable and I, I mean Obvious, will show me, I mean Iano exactly how to stay safe out there.
So choose the red pill.
It’s time to see how deep this rabbit hole really goes.
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Right, this is a cyber security masterpiece.
No really, I think this might be my best one yet.
Imagine me prancing around a pole with no shoes on while getting absolutely drenched.
No, no – not like that.
It turns out, I’m a musical extraordinaire.
Who knew, eh?
Gian Kelly is here to tell you exactly how he got done over by the phishers who phish your personal data.
(If the ad says ‘enlargement’, then it’s probably too good to be true)
So here I am. Pleasing your eyeballs once again with my groovy dance moves, all while penetrating the darkest corners of your minds with my words of wisdom.
With a hop, skip and a doo-dloo-doo, enjoy the video
This one’s for all you 80’s groovers.
Granted, my Rick Astley outfit is more flasher than flashy but I think it gets the point across.
We had a lot of fun filming this one, lots of laughing (mainly at me rather than with me) and I think I threw my hip out dancing, but that’s not important.
It’s time to allow my dulcet tones to wash over you like a ginger mullet and alert you to the dangers of banking scams. And let me tell you, they’re bloody everywhere.
Back in the day, these dodgy scams would only be convincing enough to trick your decrepit nan to hand over her hard earned wonga, but they’re much more sophisticated now.
So keep your peepers peeled and press play.
Murphy’s got bars yo!
It’s finally here! I’m sure by now everyone is intimately familiar with Vanilla Ian’s chart topping banger ‘Passwords Baby’.
Well we’ve finally finished the music video to accompany the catchiest, sexiest cybersecurity song this platform has ever seen.
I’ve already made an appearance at the grammys… Which is just what I call Instagram (you should follow me @cyber0ff)
Now what are you doing still reading this? Get up out of your seats no matter where you are, at work, on the bus, in Starbucks, I don’t care.
Blast this banger and throw so many shapes everyone around you will have ptsd flashbacks to primary school geometry.
If you want to stop him singing anything else, then contact us to see how CyberOff can boost your team’s cyber savvy.Contact Us